The Very Beginning

Thanksgiving 2022, Michael and I decided we were ready to expand our family and begin trying for our FIRST BABY! Whew... talk about a BIG decision! Growing up, I knew one of my callings in life was to be a "momma," and Michael always knew he wanted to be a daddy. BUT, to really make that decision and GO FOR IT can be a bit invigorating. We knew, however, that a baby would come in God's time, so a feeling of fear wasn't present.

I'll be honest... it happened WAY sooner than either one of us imagined it would. Conception was the easiest part of this process. Praise be to God.

At 11:00pm on Thursday, January 5th, I took the very last pregnancy test I had thinking it wouldn't be positive. Well, a bright pink "positive" plus sign showed up within seconds. Michael, who was in the shower, was startled by my screams coming down the hallway. He immediately proceeded to get out of the shower (full of soap, shampoo, and all). At that point, we knew we needed more tests. Well, in true Lee County fashion, EVERY. SINGLE. BUISINESS. WAS. CLOSED. Not a gas station or grocery story within 30 miles was open. Michael ended up at East Alabama Apothecary at EAMC at midnight and purchased two boxes of EPTs (a total of four tests). LOL that he thought that would be enough to convince me.

I strongly believe God has a strong sense of humor. Well, that night, he showed it. I am not kidding when I say that all four tests were DUDS. None of them showed negative or positive results. They didn't change color or anything. We stared and stared far past two minutes to see NO results.

Cool. What do we do next? We decided to "hit the hay" and attempt Walmart at 6:00am before work the following morning. When the associate unlocked the door, Michael took off to the pharmacy and (with the previous nights mishaps on his brain) got four different brands and boxes of tests.

Momma, back at home, was DYING to PEE!! I had been CHUGGING water to be able to take multiple tests to really confirm what we know God was already telling us. So, I don't know if I was more anxious, excited, or eager to actually be able to use the bathroom now that he was home!

Fast forward eight positive tests, lots of tears, hugs, kisses, and prayers of gratitude later.... WE WERE HAVING A BABY!

Every emotion and feeling you can imagine runs through new, soon-to-be parents within SECONDS, and we greatly felt them ALL DAY! (YES, WHILE WE HAD TO STILL GO TO WORK WITH THIS NEWS!!) BUT, we embraced them with welcomeness because James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." This was God's plan, God's beautiful gift, and we couldn't wait to walk this journey with HIM leading the way.

While Jesus knew the the ups and downs, the winds and curves of our pregnancy path and journey, we SURE didn't. While our faith is strong and our trust in Jesus is unwavering, we have faced many petrifying unknowns and heartaches. We were SO excited for our first doctor visits and ultrasounds, to get to share the news with our families and friends, and for each milestone that followed from week-to-week, month-to-month. However, after those first doctor visits and screenings, fear, anxiety, and doubt replaced all those wonderful and upbeat feelings we previously had. We were terrified. We were angry. We had an overflowing amount of questions (that nobody could concretely answer). We were depressed.

It's hard to admit and even harder for me to stomach as the MOTHER of this sweet, pure bundle of joy, who deserves every bit of happiness and excitement, but, I can't share HIS light without also acknowledging the extreme dark He rescued us from. So, please know, I'm here to be real and raw the whole way through... Our joy, after a diagnosis that we have now chosen not to believe, was absent for a short time. We just did feel the "glow" or "spark" everyone speaks about for several weeks. We were as dark on the outside as we felt on the inside.

That's the purpose of this blog. Along our journey, with every diagnosis from doctors, with each alarming ultrasound, and every piece of bad news, I searched high and low for mommas who could relate, for stories that were similar to ours, for answers, for cures, and for optimistic outcomes. I'll be blunt... there weren't ANY of those things out there.

I realized I was looking in all the wrong places. I was looking for worldly solutions when the only ONE who can heal, restore, and recover is Our Father. And boy has He done all of those things!

Revelation 3:20 states, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me." Jesus tells us not to fear in Isaiah 41:10, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

So, I opened that door (slowly at first, yes) that I had slammed shut out of anger, disappointment, embarrassment, and jealousy. Y'all, it was the best decision I could have made. And, if I could go back, I would have gone running to God from the start. That's all He wants! He's in the waiting and all we have to do is RUN to HIM! He will run to you, too!! He will embrace you, kiss you, and give you the love and compassion you so desperately seek! (Luke 15:11-24)

God has prevailed His beautiful and perfect plan, and I can't wait to share with each of you all that God has done for our angel in utero, and through mommy, daddy, and all those that love and are walking this journey with us! It's good... It's REAL good!